For many families, the first conversation about dementia is the hardest one to have. You may have noticed changes in a loved one’s memory, mood, or ability to manage daily tasks—but raising your concerns can feel overwhelming, even frightening. You don’t want to alarm them, and you certainly don’t want to hurt them. So what do you do?
At Sisters Hospitallers, we understand the emotional weight behind that first step. But we also know that starting the conversation can lead to earlier support, greater clarity, and better long-term care—for your loved one and for you.
Here are a few gentle guidelines to help begin this important dialogue:
Find a quiet, comfortable time when you’re both relaxed and unlikely to be interrupted. Approach it as a conversation, not a confrontation.
Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit more forgetful lately, and I just wanted to check in with you,” rather than “You keep forgetting things.”
Give them space to respond. They may be confused, upset, or relieved. The goal is to open a door, not deliver a diagnosis.
Gently acknowledge your concerns without jumping to conclusions. Let them know you’re there for them and that support is available no matter what.
At Sisters Hospitallers, our holistic approach to dementia care is rooted in compassion, patience, and respect. We often see that once the first conversation happens, families feel less alone and better prepared for the road ahead. You’re not expected to have all the answers—just the willingness to walk beside your loved one.
“Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is ask the difficult question—and be there for whatever answer comes.”
Starting this conversation is a profound act of love. Let it begin with kindness.